I am not a typical guy that you might meet in a supermarket, thank God. And, most people would not call me “normal.” I am simply who I am meant to be, and I write.
How would you define “normal?” Few people could give a quick answer to that question. After working in state hospitals for fifteen years, and studying New Age Spirituality, this is what I have come up with.
Normal, first of all, is a judgment; and all judgments are only an individual's point of view. When we experience anything, we compare that experience to our past. If the experience is comfortably within our tolerance to differences, we judge the experience as normal. Therefore, there is no such thing as normal; it's all in our minds. Now, here is a bit about how I am different.
Many people have judged me as “odd,” or terms more colorful, because I was born with Tourette's Disorder. It is a movement disorder characterized by motor and vocal tics. Some cases shout short profanities. I did not develop that symptom. I also have a bit of Adult ADHD and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). So, besides my tics, I am forgetful, have trouble with spelling — etc, restless with a short attention span, and think about some things too long. I did not make great grades in English, and I seem to be mildly dyslexic. However, some years ago, I finally heard a silent voice inside of me saying, “You are a writer!”
On the other hand, I seem to have some gifts. I am very good with abstracts and concepts. Before I was ten, I picked up a simplified Air Force preflight manual. It was about the basic workings of aircraft, and the theory of flight. I read through it and understood it. I could envision the principals of aerodynamics. Today, I often read scientific articles, and I have learned a lot about science. I could discuss String Theory with a physicist, and even suggest some new ideas, as long as we avoided the math. I also seem to be capable of spontaneous knowledge. When I write about a familiar subject, when I am finished, I sometimes know more about the subject than when I began, by just writing what I know.
In addition to learning a lot about science in general, I studied computers when PCs were only experimental. I studied electronics in the military. And, I had clinical Psych as a part of my training in the nursing field.
Most people would look at this situation and say, that even with such gifts, becoming a published author is “having your head in the clouds.” They would say it is impossible for me to write anything of any quality. I admit that it takes me a lot more time to write a story than most writers do. Ultimately, anyone is capable on anything. Some of my work is close to being publishable, at least. Impossible is only a belief.
My studies of New Age Spirituality have led me to a much larger understanding of life, and how it always works out for the best. I saw plenty of the dark side on humanity, growing up with uncontrolled Tourette's. No one knew what it was until I was in my thirties. However, I found a lot of truth in the works of some authors.
The late L. Ron Hubbard, as many know, founded the Church of Scientology. I was a member of that church for a short time. I found a lot of truth in his work. However, his views seemed to have some flaws. Nevertheless, I feel he came very close to the ultimate truth. I no longer see “eye to eye” with that church. And, it is a very expensive religion.
Richard Bach writes fiction with a metaphysical theme. Most people have heard of his book “Jonathan Livingston Seagull.” Some have read, “Illusions, the adventures of a reluctant Messiah.” They are both about the road to Enlightenment. They stimulate the imagination. And, they have inspired many to seek the truth.
Few people know who wrote “A Course in Miracles.” Most of what I learned about that was from a promoter / expert named Marianne Williamson. She has published many recorded lectures. She talks very fast. It is a set of books written by a woman by way of channeling. Channeling is when someone writes or speaks for a disembodied spirit. Normally, the human is in a deep trance. He or she does not remember writing or speaking after coming out of the trance. Many people believe she was channeling Jesus. She chose not to put her name on the work.
Neal Donald Walsch wrote the “Conversations with God” books. He writes that God talks to everyone all through life. However, we have forgotten what to listen and look for. And, the filters of our egos block much of that out. But somehow, after he had decided to write God an angry letter, he couldn't put the pen down after he finished writing. He picked his tablet back up and wrote what a silent voice inside his head started telling him. That was the start of the conversation. He is now my favorite New Age author. If you have read any of his books, my inspirational stories may remind you of his work, including much of the last half of this essay.
And, I don't want to forget James Redfield, who wrote “The Celestine Prophecy.” It is a fictional metaphor of a man's search for Enlightenment, which seems to occur through happenstance. However, in ultimate truth, there is no such thing. It has a lot of drama and action. The book is better than the movie.
Here is some of what I have learned. For someone with a disability, one of the greatest truths I have found is regarding the agenda of the soul. Most people have never heard that one's soul has an agenda of its own. But, the soul brings forth all the major events in one's life. And, these events are to fulfill the soul's agenda. This agenda is not a list of specific events, accomplishments, or things you will have. It is sort of a list of experiences of what the soul wishes to be. In order to experience many of these things, the soul gives the EGO and the body some circumstances and limitations, and sometimes the lack of a common limitation or two, which help guide the EGO to these experiences.
As one example, say the soul needs to experience some of the most basic parts of being a human wearing its heart on its sleeve, with few complexities. That soul may be born with a body that has Down's syndrome. When that life is finished, in its next life it might be a genius and become a rocket scientist. In this case, the soul may wish to experience being a student of the universe. Circumstances, created by the soul, help lead us to the soul's choice of being, the soul's agenda.
However, many people become frustrated when they choose to be something, and life seems to begin to work against them. I forget and do this too. But, there is a reason for that. And, it is a blessing in disguise. Einstein stumbled onto something much bigger than he may have known when he developed his theories of relativity. Relativity came before this, or any universe. Can you have up, without having down? Can you have hot, without having cold? Nothing can be experienced without comparing it to its opposite. Comparing something to a point of reference is a basic concept of relativity.
When life gives you the opposite of what you have chosen to be, you are experiencing a reference point from which to experience being what you have chosen to be. In metaphysics, the term for that is “The Law of Opposites.” When you choose to be something, its opposite soon shows up in your experience. Expect it and bless it. These opposites are allowing you to experience what you have chosen to be, and give you the choice to commit to that choice of being.
Look at your history to find what kind of experiences you have had repeatedly, which shaped your life. Also, look at the things you most enjoy doing. What were you being when you had those experiences? And, what situations have come up frequently in your life that seemed to oppose you? What ways of being are the opposite of those situations? Find the most common ways of being in these examples, and you will have begun to find your soul's agenda.
Another of life’s unseen truths is that everything we experience in the physical world we are making up. You might think of it as a play, “and all the world's a stage.” Ultimately, all life is equal; and we are here helping each other have the experiences we came here to have. Physical reality is a collective illusion created by life itself — another word for God. I have found that it is not easy to convince most people of this, however. Try telling any of this to a homeless person, for example. I once said to another man in a homeless shelter, “I'll tell you one of the secrets of life. It's all made up.” I got a laugh, like I was crazy or something. And, yes, I was also homeless.
We do ourselves a dis-service when we judge others, and ourselves for our differences and shortcomings, and when we fear others for their advantages. We are all in life together, helping each other have experiences. Everybody needs everyone. As it has been said in “A Course in Miracles,” “There is only one person in this room.” Or, as Mr. Walsch has put it, “We are all one.” “Separation is an illusion.”
Souls never oppose each other, only our egos do that.